The Birds, the Bees, and the Turtles is an extremely rare adult mini-comic centered around the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TMNT). It was produced by comic book writer and artist Bill Fitts during his time at the American comic book company Mirage Studios. Other artists who also contributed to his comic included Dan Seneres doing the pencils and Steve Lavigne in charge of the lettering. Bill Fitts created this comic as a farewell gift to his fellow friends at Mirage Studios sometime in the early 1990’s before he left for California in 1993. Only 50 copies of The Birds, the Bees, and the Turtles were ever produced by Mirage Studios. It was only meant for Fitts’s friends and fellow employees at Mirage Studios, but as with many pieces of obscure media, it managed to be discovered by the public when a former Mirage Studios staff member sold his copy on eBay in 2009. Sometime after 2009, another copy of the comic book, this one unnumbered, was reportedly located at Mirage Studios’ offices in the city of Northampton, Massachusetts. Many TMNT and comic book fans were surprised by the revelation of this salacious comic book, and it sparked intense interest online. Bill Fitts did his best to keep the comic hidden as to not tarnish the TMNT franchise’s rising popularity during the 1990’s, but it eventually entered the public eye anyway.
The Birds, the Bees, and the Turtles has not been fully archived yet, but as one copy has already been found, it’s only a matter of time before the entire contents of the comic are disclosed online to eager viewers and TMNT fans.
Synopsis
According to the site Comic Book Resources (https://www.cbr.com/), the plot of The Birds, the Bees, and the Turtles involves three of the Ninja Turtles watching porn together in their sewer lair while a pot-smoking Raphael is on vacation with the female fox Ninjara. During this time Splinter has left to visit April O’Neil (which the fifth image below seemingly showcases). The rest of the scenes that follow include various sexual scenarios including Raphael exclaiming “Cowabunga!” while having sex with Ninjara, other characters exchanging bodily fluids with each other and even an incestuous encounter between Michelangelo and Donatello. Later on in the story, Leonardo is horrified by the pornographic depravity from the rest of the cast. However, once he is given instructions from both Splinter and April on “the ways of life”, Leonardo is suddenly at ease with his sexual urges and presumably participates in the various sex acts with the rest of the cast. The turtles’ arch nemesis Shredder watches their subsequent encounter outside through a window until some piece of jewelry gets caught on his armor. It’s unknown if the story ends after that or if it continues with the sexual escapades.
Images
Below are a few of the images of The Birds, the Bees, and the Turtles that I was able to find online.
Below is an image I found online of a collector with a copy of the raunchy comic. Credit to Aaron Meyers, themanbehindtherehood. I have included a hyperlink to his Twitter (X) but unfortunately the post is currently unavailable, even after I tried using the Wayback Machine.
What do you think about this adult spoof of the Ninja Turtles? Are you one of the lucky few who has collected or seen this rare comic book before? Let me know in the comments section below!
Sources
https://forums.thetechnodrome.com/showthread.php?t=29174
https://www.cbr.com/tmnt-adventures-mirage-archie-lost-comics/
The Hidden Vault 
Leave a comment